Isn't it strange that at funerals we stand in lines to see someone who is no longer there? A body lays in an open box. We put on their best blue suit and dress them with jewelry and make up. A body that is lifeless and empty. A body that once housed a person. But is now just empty. We stare and we say, "He looks so good." Or "They really did a good job capturing her." What does that even mean? We touch a hand. Shed a tear. And say goodbye. We say goodbye to a body. A BODY. The person that once lived inside that body is already gone. Maybe we didn't get to say goodbye to them. Maybe they left without notice. So this is our chance. This is our last opportunity to say goodbye. But really...we're saying goodbye to a body. That body isn't really that person anymore. Everything that we loved about that person is gone. If that person was that body, we wouldn't be burying it. Of course the body is a part of who we are. We obviously wouldn't survive without our bodies! But once the body dies, we move on. We leave it behind. It's of no use to us.
Now, if you're like me you're in a weird place now. You're in this philosophical cloud and need to touch something tangible, do something mindless, or go put your hands in the grass outside. Bear with me. This is a strange thing to think about. It's just strange. Life is weird! Isn't it?! Well, that's a whole other subject to discuss. Right now I'm more interested in discussing our bodies. OUR BODIES AREN'T WHAT DEFINE US. My body doesn't define me. My appearance doesn't define who I am. It's simple and we're told this all our lives. I can just see the closing clip on Full House now... The music chimes in and Danny has a heart to heart with DJ. "It's not what's on the outside that counts, it's what's on the inside." But then we don't really live like that, do we? We have beauty contests and two hundred dollar jeans. We attach our best photo to our college applications and social media sites. We see magazines covered in models. Fashion police at the Oscars. Makeup. Hair salons. Teeth whitener. Braces. Nail polish. De-wrinklers. Face-lifts. Boob jobs. Fashion trends. Make-up on dead people. Our culture spends a lot of money on and pays a lot of attention to our bodies. And I would say it's no different in the Christian community. Do you see a difference? Besides words? Unfortunately...I don't see a difference.
How do we teach our kids not to focus on appearance if we're so wrapped up in it ourselves? I'm not a parent (yet) but I wonder about this for when we do have kids. How will I show them that their appearance doesn't define them? How do I live in a way in which my words become action? How do I stress less? How do I have more confidence in who I am and what I can offer? Let me just add this....yes our bodies are important and we need to take care of them. Obviously I believe this or I wouldn't be on this journey. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about having a healthy confidence in our bodies and our whole beings. I'm talking about living less in vanity. We call people who are a little too confident in their looks vain. However, I think I can be just as vain because of my lack of confidence. I probably spend just as much time worrying about my body (if not more) than the person who worships theirs. I want to live in a way in which I don't not go to gatherings because I don't have something cool to wear or I worry that I'm heavier or not as pretty as all the people there. I want to stop holding back my thoughts and opinions because I don't want people to look at me when I'm talking. I want to wear a swimsuit and go to the beach with my husband. I want to worry less about getting my hair just right or finding the perfect outfit after making piles (that I know my husband so appreciates) all over our bedroom floor. Really what I need is a transformation of my mind.
Lord, help me no longer conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I might know more of who You are and what you want for me.
this spoke to me so much. I needed to hear this. Its funny because I was just thinking today about how much I focus on my appearance or worry about it...without even really thinking about it. And, what is that saying to my kids. Especially as they get older...especially Piper. What will the messages from the media be for her when she's older. What will I teach her in contrast to that? Will I be different than the world? I sure hope so! I want to be! Thank you for sharing this! (PS, I just saw on TV today that some company is selling a kids line of string bikinis that have padding and push-up. yah...for 10 yr olds. WHAT?! Scary!)
ReplyDeleteWOW mer. this is so insightful and inspiring. i have never thought of "the body" in this way -- especially in connection to funerals and viewings....but that spoke to me in a profound way. you need to start thinking about other venues and forums to get your thoughts out and about....
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! Means so much to me to hear that my words speak to others in an inspiring way.
ReplyDeleteNat - that is crazy about the string bikinis for 10 year olds. Gross. And SAD.
Casey - thanks for the encouragement! What kind of venues/forums are you talking about? Would be very cool but don't know where to look.
Seriously, you need to write a book. I struggle with the same feelings and questions. And when we have kids, especially girls, I want to make sure that their confidence comes from who they are in Christ and who He is in them and I want them to know that they're beautiful because their Heavenly Father delights in them and made them that way. I'm still working on that for for myself. Thanks for your honesty.
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