This afternoon I received a note from a friend who also struggles with weight and the frustration, depression and defeat that goes along with this. I wanted to share my response on here because I think a lot of us can relate to these feelings.
I totally relate to the frustrating cycle of defeat and depression. I've totally been there and it wasn't until I posted my blog yesterday that I felt an amazing release of freedom that I have never experienced before. For the first time I feel like I'm going into a "diet" (although I'm trying not to think of it as diet and more so a lifestyle change) with confidence instead of defeat. I am excited and motivated. I went back and forth about doing it. I did NOT want to reveal to the world my weaknesses and biggest embarrassment but I knew this might be the only thing that actually worked for me to stay motivated and be held accountable. I cannot tell you how much freedom it is to just be honest. Honest with others but maybe more importantly honest with myself. There is something about writing it down and then posting it for all to see (or maybe just telling someone else) that is so powerful.
This morning I went to church...a new church I had never been to before...and where I knew no one (except for Michael who was with me of course). This kind of thing (gatherings of any sort really) is usually miserable for me. I stress about what to wear, about meeting new people and their impressions of me and my body. I constantly fidget and feel uncomfortable. I try my best to hide. But this morning I woke up with a new confidence. I don't have to hide anymore because I've been honest. The truth really does set you free.
I know for sure I will have days where I feel frustrated and want to quit. I'm not saying this won't be a hard journey. It is. But there is a freedom and confidence present because I have a support group. Maybe that's the key to this whole thing...community. So I encourage any of you who are wanting to make this lifestyle change to do the same. Find a community, not just one or two people, but a community. Be honest. Write it down. Maybe a blog is for you, maybe it isn't. If you are back and forth about a blog...just take the first step. Create it, write out what you want to include, your goals, etc. and then sit with it a little while. You never know maybe you'll decide to publish it. If not, you'll at least have written some stuff down.