Friday, September 30, 2011


I have some semi good news. As mentioned before, over the last couple months, in the midst of my lack of exercise and motivation, I gained a few pounds. Well I'm happy to report that I lost those gained pounds and I'm back on track. A couple posts ago I set some new goals to help me gain some momentum. The eating is going well...still working on the exercise thing. I've been sick with sinus junk so it's been a bit difficult to exercise. Apparently breathing is important while exercising. :) I'm definitely making healthier choices all around and feel like I'm gaining that momentum I've been needing! Hopefully soon I'll be able to cross off my next 5lb marker!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

get inspired

I've done enough complaining, whining, venting the past few weeks. I need some inspiration! So I'm adding to my new goals - Get Inspired. :) I'll be starting a series of blog posts highlighting inspiring things people are doing....with their physical abilities, health, bodies. So here's the first one! This is simply amazing! Wish I had the courage to experience this kind of freedom. Watch it and get inspired!

A Video From
The Cinematic Sports Experience

Monday, September 19, 2011

new goals!

Since I've been struggling the past several weeks I've decided I need some new short term goals to work toward. This journey just isn't coming as easy these days so I need some goals that are a little more attainable and that will hopefully give me the boost I need! Once I'm feeling comfortable with these I will re-evaluate and add to it. So here we go...
  • Exercise at least 3 times a week
  • Drink at least 40 oz of water a day
  • Count my calories (1500) at least 3 days a week
Anybody in my boat and want to join me?! Lets do it!

Ready. Set. Go!

Friday, September 16, 2011

playground workout

Last night Michael and I went on our usual walk around Homewood Central Park....but this time we took a detour from the path and opened the gate to the playground. And the real workout began! Our heart rates were up in seconds and it was so much fun! We climbed a catapillar, balanced on beams, climbed a "rock" wall, ran up slides and attempted the monkey bars. We aren't the first ones to make a playground into a gym. You've probably heard about these workouts. And I definitely recommend it, especially as the weather begins to cool!

Google "playground workouts" and you'll find some great ideas! Or just get creative the next time you're at the park!

Here's a link some ideas on livestrong...

Friday, September 9, 2011

i'm having an ugly night...maybe week

If you don't mind I'd like to take the next few minutes to emotionally barf on you...

I feel ugly. I have some average size zits symmetrically (yes symmetrically) placed on each side of my chin, one large one on my right nostril making it about three sizes bigger than my left nostril, and a sprinkling of little ones all over. My hair is getting too long, which just makes my face look sad and droopy. I don't have any cool clothes. And worst of all...I think I've gained a few pounds back. I haven't done an official weigh in, but I can tell in the mirror....more is there than a month ago and it's just about the worst feeling. Blah. Yuck. Ugh. [insert favorite depressing expressive word] That's how I feel. I'm just having an ugly night...maybe week. I want to do about a million sit-ups tonight but I don't want to actually do them....if that makes any sense. I want to find some miracle zit concoction to rid them by morning (Windex anyone?). I even thought about going to a salon and making a drastic hair style change. I can just see it...stylists gather to collaborate on my new look, draw diagrams on their mirror, sharpen their scissors and at last craft their masterpiece on top my head. When they finished, they'd whip me around in the chair, I'd rise and everything and everyone in the room would freeze...except my stunning newly cut hair blowing in the "wind" of course.

I plopped down on the couch tonight and expressed all my ugly feelings to Michael and he patiently offered sweet words, comfort, and support. I have just about the best husband a girl could ask for. He didn't try to give me advice - he just said "it's ok that you feel that way...that's a part of the journey" (after saying he thought I was beautiful and he didn't see what I was seeing of course). It just felt good to hear hear that my feelings are okay...that I don't need to feel something differently in this moment. I don't know about you, but I feel freedom in that. The load is taken off. I don't have to do a million sit-ups tonight, windex my zits, or have a make over. I don't have to find the instant fix. I can feel what I feel and start a new day with new mercies tomorrow. I can just be...I can have an ugly night. It's okay.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

the beautiful tension

Lately, my mind has been everywhere but health and physical I shared in my last post. I've neglect my blog because I haven't had much worth saying in this department. However, I was reminded today that this blog is more than just a reflection on my physical well being. It's about my journey - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, this post is a reflection on the latter.

As I have shared before I go to therapy. Every other week I sit down with Lisa and we talk life. It is rewarding, refreshing, challenging, and inspiring. If this isn't apart of your life I encourage you to consider it...even a mentor if not a professional therapist. We need these people in our lives. We need people disconnected from our norm, people trained (or not trained) to provide a safe space to be completely transparent, void of judgement. Lisa is on my si
de and she helps me process thoughts and ideas, struggles and triumphs.

We talk a lot about fear and anxiety because unfortunately these things are a big part of my life in the present season. I'm an analytical thinker...I think way too deeply about a lot of things. This is a blessing and a curse. It is something I take pride in - I'm a deep thinker, I'm insightful...I like to think I'm an intellectual person. However, this deep thinking many times takes me to dark places.
I like to think of myself as a realist but honestly I'm a pessimist and deal with cynicism and fear on a daily basis. This informs my life on a lot of levels. It's my thorn and it's exhausting. And this is exactly why I go to therapy. I'm asking God for brokenness, for freedom, for a life lived fully. And this is also why I'm on this weightloss journey. I want to experience life to the fullest. I want to shed every toxic thing and experience the fullness of the gospel.

If you're like me, it's bothersome and frustrating that this desire is unattainable (this side of heaven). I'm never going to be free of anxiety and fear because we live in a fallen and broken world. I wish I could go to therapy and in 6 months be void of these struggles. The reality is...that's not what therapy is about. That's not what sanctification is about. Sanctification isn't about my ability to achieve perfection. It's about Christ's capacity to restore my soul. And I get to be a part of it. By living a more abundant life. By striving for better. By shedding toxic things in my life. By letting His Word shape me. By being creative. By desiring restoration in my life and on this earth. Even when I know I won't experience the fullness, the perfection, and the beauty this side of heaven. There is a beautiful tension a work here. And this tension is the human experience at the core. I want to be better but I'm flawed. I want to live fully but I'm handicapped. I want to experience freedom but I'm a prisoner. I want to believe but I'm afraid. Life is painful, it's hard, it's sometimes miserable and feels meaningless but it's beautiful. There is indeed something beautiful about that tension, isn't there?

If you resonate with this at all read Ecclesiastes.